Balancing Motherhood and Career
Motherhood today vastly differs from the way it used to be. A couple of generations ago, women were expected to be a stay-at-home mums. Society’s view was that they should take care of the kids and household chores. Fast forward to today, most women – either single or in a relationship – are juggling both motherhood and careers. No matter the careers, it is not easy for working mums to balance both things at the same time.
Some mums feel a huge sense of “mum-guilt” by focusing more on their careers. Some mums feel worried and scared about losing their job even if they are perceived to focus more on their kids. This roller-coaster of emotions, if not managed well, could start taxing on the other aspects of life. For example, personal relationships with the partner, friends, family, and let’s not forget, the mum in herself. So read on and find out 5 ways that can help you to balance your career along with motherhood.
Own both identities: A mum and a Career woman
A lot of women feel like they have to make a choice once they become a mother; to either be more of a mum or more of a career woman. Handling both tasks feels so demanding and daunting. So they feel like there is no way they can do both right. This conflict is a significant reason for working mums to feel like it is extremely hard to balance both, or that they have to choose either or.
It is high time for all working mums to realise that they can in fact own both identities, without needing to put more focus on one or the other. For example, getting off work earlier to pick up your sick child from the daycare does not make you less of an employee. As long as the tasks that you have been assigned to do can be done and delivered with quality when the deadline is up. And vice versa – going on a business trip does not make her less of a mum. Only by owning both identities, can working mums then manage their self expectations on both identities equally.
Seek Help from Others
A working mum is a superwoman. But even a superwoman needs help from her community from time to time. So first and foremost, start sharing the responsibilities of being parents with your partner. It takes two people to have a child, so it is both parents’ responsibilities to take care of the child. If you have to stay longer at work, discuss with your partner to figure out the options to handle childcare. Maybe your partner can come home earlier for the next few weeks to prepare dinner for you and the kids. If you try to figure everything out by yourselves, there’s a good chance you will feel overwhelmed with both work and childminding.
Now, what if you are a single mum? You can still seek help from your family and friends whenever it is needed. Do not feel ashamed about it. As the popular saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. Go ahead and use that village, either if you are a single mum or not. So you can balance both your career and motherhood.
You can also reach out to your boss and your company to seek help from them. Now, the conversation of balancing your career and motherhood may sound daunting. But if you are well prepared and are clear about what kind of help you would like to receive before talking to your boss – whether that is asking for flexible work time, an opportunity to work from home, or working reduced hours – then you have a much better chance of getting what you ask for. One thing they never tell you; balance cannot be achieved unless you ask for it. And there is no shame in asking for assistance, in fact, it will prove authentic leadership abilities.
Setting boundaries and Expectations with Others
Helping each other is a give and take relationship. It is encouraged to seek help from others, but you should also be respectful of the help that is given. And it is not worth jeopardising your relationships, if someone feels like they are being taken for granted. The best way to make sure that things will work out fine is by aligning expectations with others about the help that you need.
For example, if you need your partner to help take care of the kids by getting home from work earlier, then you would also need to give some time back when your partner needs you to. Same thing goes with your nanny or childminder; if you ask the nanny to stay a bit longer, then be home when you say you will be home. It may be harder for them to say yes next time if expectations are not clear to them. The same goes for your work too. When you request to work from home, or have flexible working hours from your company, then you must be available to work at the times that you have agreed to maximize productivity in a minimized and flexible time frame.
Take breaks for Some Me-Time
To find zen in the chaotic life of a working mum, you need to have some Me time every now and then. This is when having good relationships with your partner, family and friends can come in handy too. Let them take care of your kids, so you can enjoy your alone time to the max. It could be a simple spa trip, or retail therapy with friends. Whatever makes you feel like you can unwind and breathe. If you are not too keen on spending time alone, and your most enjoyable time is spending time with your kids, then do that. As long as the time you spend helps you to destress and feel refreshed, so that you can take on the world again as a strong working mum.
Do your Best and Enjoy the Process
There really is no finishing line in motherhood. The rewards of motherhood comes from the process – both the tough and the amazing ones.
Your kids depend on you to take care of them, even when they are way into their adulthood. But as you may have heard before; everything is a phase, no matter how easy or tough it is. And as every parent always says, time passes by too fast. In the blink of an eye, your kids are fleeing the nest and setting up nests of their own. So do not shy away from fighting for what you want throughout the process, whether that is flexible hours, getting help from others, or taking the Me time that you surely deserve. These are things that can help you balance motherhood and your career.
