Newsflash: How to Break the News about Your Pregnancy

Finding out that you’re pregnant can bring along a whole bag of emotions with it; joy, relief, anxiety, shock. You may have struggled to get pregnant, suffered previous miscarriages, or it may just be one big surprise. Regardless of your journey to get there, you may need time to compute these emotions before declaring to the world; your family, in-laws and not least your boss and colleagues. You may wish to build anticipation to your news or raise it sensitively. In either situation, considering the time and approach can make the process of breaking the big news as smooth as possible.

Timing

You and Your Partner

If you have a trusted partner, it can be a treasured time to share the news but it is also a moment that many do not plan for. This can cause a less rational approach such as blurting it out or, contrarily, silent treatment until you process how to get the words out.

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Timing is Key

Depending on whether you peed on the stick during your lunch break at work or in the middle of the night when you couldn’t sleep, the moment of first sharing your news with someone else will be etched in your memory bank for years to come.

Breaking the news at an appropriate time will give you and the receiver of the news the opportunity to be as present as possible. Telling your in-laws whilst their grand-kids are screaming in the background? Not ideal. Announcing to your couple friends just as they confirm their split? Avoid where possible. Undoubtedly, timing is key.

The Work Conversation

Once the news is out with your loved ones, the next focus will be on telling your workplace. By law, UK employers need to know about your pregnancy at least 15 weeks before your due date. Many women find it hard to conceal long before that point and so wish to raise their pregnancy earlier.

After 12 weeks pregnant, this is the most common time for women to share their news, particularly as the risk of miscarriage is much lower from this point onwards. Considering the optimum time to share the news with your boss, helps empower you to feel in control of the situation. This can be hugely beneficial in handling a very personal and sensitive topic. Even if a last minute crisis meeting comes up just before when you had planned to share the news, the mere thought process of considering the calendar will help you be as productive as possible.

Approach

The approach of how to first break the news is very personal. If the idea of setting up a huge ‘BABY BAKING’ sign with balloons and confetti is your thing, go for it! If you’d rather a quiet night at home full of deep-and-meaningfuls is more your vibe, follow that thought.

The mantra for the approach: you do you. Always consider the impact of the news on the receiver and give them time to process it. People react to change in a varied spectrum of ways and it’s important to remember that their reaction shouldn’t always be taken personally.

Sharing with Family

Telling your in-laws while your nephew screams in a tantrum in the background? Not ideal. Announcing to a group of friends just as the long-standing couple breaks up? Less than ideal. Life is messy and curating a perfect moment is not always possible. However, considering the timing is about being mindful to those you love.

How to Tell Your Boss

When discussing with your boss, it is generally best to take a professional approach regardless of how friendly you are with each other. Hopefully they will be hugely happy for you. After the initial congratulations, however, it’s likely their mind will turn to succession planning for your role in the months ahead whilst you are out on maternity leave.

If you wish to get involved in the recruitment process for your maternity cover, you could flag it at this point. This means you can play an active role in the selection of who will temporarily cover your work. After all, it’s great to have your voice heard and help set that person up for success so it is in the best shape possible when you return to work.

Overall, it is important to remember that your news is personal to you and how others react to it is out of your control. That said, if you factor in the time and approach of sharing the news it can ensure that the moment is as special and considered as it could possibly be. The best part is that, from this moment on, you can start to think less about others and focusing more on your growing little miracle.