The Holy Grail for New Mums: Sleep
No matter how often new mummies prepare themselves to get used to the idea of limited sleep once their newborn is here, it still always catches them by surprise with how tough the reality can be. It is not just the sleep deprivation itself, but also the exhaustion of rocking your newborn constantly, dealing with their crying, and also the frustration of breastfeeding. Just when you thought you had a 30 minutes break, your newborn may decide to cut it short to a mere 5 minutes break. And the feed-cry-poop-feed cycle begins again.
The duration of the sleep struggle also differs from mother to mother, because each baby is different. Some new mum’s sleep struggle lasts for just the first few months, whereas some could last until their kids are 1 to 2 years old.
At times, it feels like nothing can help alleviate the frustration and exhaustion from taking care of a newborn. If you are one of the mums that need some help and guidance dealing with sleep and tiredness, read on because we got you.
Do whatever you fancy during the breaks
Now the old adage from your own mums, sisters, or midwives is to “sleep when your baby is sleeping”. That is true. We are saying the same here too. Sleep when your baby is sleeping. But only if that is what you want. Sometimes, trying to force yourself to sleep just because your baby is sleeping, along with not knowing the amount of time you get to nap can actually be more stressful. And nothing is more frustrating and tiring to be woken up when you have just fallen asleep.
So check-in with yourself and see if other things may energise or relax you more during those short breaks. With a good monitor that you can trust, you can read some books while having a cup of tea, listen to music or watch some tv to relax and just breathe a little. If you feel like talking to a friend or family members during the down time, then take these opportunities to do so. As you know it won’t be that easy once your baby is up again.
It is important to take these breaks as your me-time. It will help you to release some of the frustrations and stress between cycles, which in return can also help you to feel less tired.
Routines and habits
If you would like to plan for a longer and more consistent breaktime with your newborn, so you can have good proper naps in between cycles, then you need to establish a more stable routine with your newborn. Yes, you can start the routines already with your baby. It is another story if they want to stick with your schedule or not. But that does not mean that you cannot give it a shot. You can give a few options a try: for example, at focus on storybooks and bath time before putting your baby down for bedtime at night. Also, a phrase you always use like ‘time for sleep’ will help your baby understand the cues over time.
Similar to any routines and habits in life, they are not easy to adhere to. Consistency in this case is key. You can use apps to help you to record your baby’s routines and habits. That can then help you to plan your naps around them. There are many apps that have really good functionalities and friendly user interfaces for these purposes. Good news is that most of them are free. Check out our suggestions on the Best Apps to Track Baby Development.
Seek help from your partner
Taking care of your newborn is not your sole responsibility. Do include your partner in the journey by sharing the responsibility of taking care of your newborn. Plus it is probably the most immediate relief that you could have. Talk to your partner, and plan out different shifts to take care of your little ones, especially for the night time wake up calls. Even though your partner may not be able to help with breastfeeding, they will still be able to help with nappy change, burping or rocking the baby back to sleep. This way both of you have time to rest, and are not overwhelmed by the exhaustion of not having enough sleep.
Seek help from family and friends
Besides sharing the responsibility with your partner, you can also seek help from family and friends. Especially if you and your partner are both sleep deprived. This is when the village steps up and can be an invaluable support. Make a deal with your families or friends to help you with your kids for a couple hours, just so you can take a break for yourselves and just sleep. The thought of just being able to get a straight 2 hours of sleep already sounds relaxing enough.
Lean on others to get support if you are really sleep deprived. A rested and relaxed frame of mind is the best you can ask for during this delicate time. So once you have a set time, where your loved ones can take care of your baby, be ready to enjoy the nap. Make sure your loved ones have all they need to look after baby, so no one needs to bother you midway of your nap.
Realise that this is just a phase
When you are in the midst of sleep struggles, the feelings of frustration and despair are usually the most intensified. It is normal if you just feel like crying and giving up. So don’t be too hard on yourself. Just remember, this phase of sleep struggle will pass. It is just a phase. In a blink of an eye, your newborn will be a toddler, and subsequently a young child. By then their sleep routine will start to form into a more fixed pattern, and you will be able to enjoy a longer and more peaceful sleep again.
This may be very hard to fathom in the midst of your struggles but thinking positively can have a huge effect on your mental health. Try taking a breath and refocussing your thoughts on the happy and healthy growth that your baby is going through right now. Things will eventually get better as they grow up.
Being a new mum is never easy. Don’t forget to ask for help too along the way. And remember this sleep struggling phase too shall pass. In the meantime, embrace these early days with your newborn in your arms whilst you can.
